bound by shackles

at a young age most black women have an one sided view on men and relationships which are usually told thru their mother eyes. a lot of us grow up in homes where there are no men and the mother does everything. We all witness mothers "boyfriends" but we rarely see that materialize into marriage or anything healthy.
Its this unspoken rule that it's ok to give a man every ounce of you without marriage or a commitment. We will get a home and allow a man to live with us we will take care of him have his children and this all can happen within a year of meeting this man.

We start at an early age myself included i was 18 when i moved in with my ex. My parents did not protest or seem to care and during that whole year i went thru hurt and pain with him i could not imagine and i was alone. I did not have a mother to call because in my eyes your supposed to go thru this and all relationships are hard; and after all what advice could she give me since i witness her going thru the same thing time after time clearly she did not know any better either. I isolate this to black women simply because i am a black woman and i do not have a clue on what it's like to be any other race. I'm not downing us because im living proof, that black woman are strong and we over come everything. I just wanna talk about this chain we have this cycle that we need to break.

At 18 i thought i was grown as hell looking back i was a baby. Laying up with a man really? I mean what the hell can this man do for you besides drain you. In the black community we talk about being ride or dies holding our man down. That's all good but are we not being enablers? Cause he knows if he goes to jail he got you to bail him out. or if he cant keep a job he got you to keep working. im saying what is it like to have a man from point a to b? now don't get me wrong imma hold my man down thru thick or thin. im asking if thats all you find your self doing do not you think you may have a situation where you are living a cycle?i digress the purpose of this blog was to speak on this black shadow in our race it's to many young folks in relationships they cannot handle. to many young women already drained because they gave all their love away before they were 25. now that may be a little dramatic but im pretty sure you get what im saying. i just feel like we are the only race that has to fight for love.