ready to have my own family!

so im sitting here like arggghhhh!!!!! lmao really tho i have so many things going around my head...mostly concerning my relationship o_O....lol as most of you may know we just made it to our 2yr mark....ill be honest i didn't think we would make it or even be together.....buuuut here we are so with that being said....im having that baby itch.....and im shocked like wtf do i want a baby i haven't even finished school....and i always said i wouldn't be a mommy until i finished school...not that you cant get your masters and have kids i just don't want to do that...i mean i wanna work smarter not harder...anyways like i was saying im having this feeling like imma be a mommy....like i know imma have me a baby...the funny thing is if i have a kid it wont be with my current...soooo now im having these thoughts like well whats the point of spending anymore time trying to make this relationship work when we will never have kids together?

Allot of you are probably like why cant you have kids with him? lol well its along story.....anyways so im here 2yrs into a relationship and finally im like NO! i cant accept the fact that we will never conceive a child together....but its not that easy to just break up not when everything else is ok....i think to myself all the time like why did we meet....honestly i feel i could of went the rest of my life without ever meeting him....its like winning the lottery but being told you can never spend the money! now i can think of a million other reason why this relationship wont work....but the only one that cant be fixed is the baby issue....

So back to the why? i wonder every day what was the point of this relationship...sometimes it crosses my mind well maybe i cant have kids....or maybe im not meant to be a mother like my moms tells me....or maybe God put this man in my life to serve as a branch in my tree of life...getting me ready for the one im "meant" to marry....so many thoughts run thru my head....but right now im taking everything day by day...im still young and if im meant to be a mother one day it will happen....its just like ok God im not questioning you....really im not but coooome on can you give me a little clue on what to do....yah girl be lost sometimes lol....im just ready to start building the foundation for my own family....and if this current relationship is not the foundation DEUCES!!!!