Young Black Single Mother.....

I'm speaking from the heart on this one....


I am 25 with no kids, and in my community I'm giving a pat on my back an praised as if  I've accomplished something out of this world.....lets get real its not to often you see a young black woman in her 20's with no children....this topic alone sparks many debates.....but I feel the need to say my peace concerning this topic....of being a "Young Black Single Mother"....

I don't turn my nose up at women who have kids.....its easy to assume the negative but I rather not....Because I could of easily been in the same situation....At the end of the day no matter how much I empathize, the  fact is I don't have kids and I could never fully understand the struggle...However I know going into your 20's and having a small human attached to your hip isn't the way life supposed to be.....at 20 your supposed to be free living, following your dreams learning and growing....at that age you are not mentally mature to take care of another person point blank....Now I know alot of y'all are probably like hold up I take damn good care of my kids....sucking yawl's teeth and rolling your eyes.....but lets bring it full circle here is my story....

I got pregnant at 21 February of 2008....My then long time boyfriend my first, asked me to have his child....I took that as a honor.....Child I was young dumb and full of cum literally....I was like OMG you want me to be your babies mama....So we tried and BAM!!! I was pregnant now what? When I tell you my life instantly flashed before my eyes, as I sat in my bedroom starring at a positive pregnancy test...I couldn't believe it I was shocked.... I realized I had made the dumbest decision ever, but I was going to be woman about it and take care of my responsibility..... I didn't take into consideration of MY REALITY! I was unemployed a full time student, in a very unhealthy relationship about to have a baby with a man that had no respect for me....I was depressed, self esteem was non existent....

I went to my first prenatal appointment by myself on the bus in the freezing cold....I knew at that moment I was just another statistic..The fights got so in tense I found myself begging this man to love me and not leave......I'm like hold up nigga didn't you ask me to have this baby....WTF? The relationship turned physically abusive I was two months pregnant when I lost the baby....We just had a huge fight because he had some chick texting my cell phone.....He choked me out and pushed me on the ground wow!!! That same day I miscarried....I made a decision that day that I would work on me and improve my quality for life...not the quality of life....but my quality for life you feel me....It took me a whole year to get better and leave his ass alone for good but I did it.....

Now what if I had the baby? I can try to say I would have done the same thing and left....But honestly I would probably still be with him.....with a 3 and a half year old probably going thru it.....I now realize I wasn't mentally mature during that time to have allowed myself to go through that....So how was I going to protect my child and invest in its future? If I couldn't protect myself or gave a damn about my own future.....Now to my ladies who have kids and are single....I know your doing a damn good job raising your kids.....But be honest knowing what you know now and looking back wouldn't it have been a lot easier if you didn't have a child? Now I know God doesn't make mistakes but sometimes we rush and things happen a little earlier than God intended in my opinion.....I ask all the young ladies reading this to wait....If your meant to be a mommy it will happen....Let being a teenage mother be one of those statistics you beat!!!....To those that are pregnant or have child(ren).....reflect on your current situation and if there is anything in your life..... that is not good for your child's well being remove it......