bound by shackles

at a young age most black women have an one sided view on men and relationships which are usually told thru their mother eyes. a lot of us grow up in homes where there are no men and the mother does everything. We all witness mothers "boyfriends" but we rarely see that materialize into marriage or anything healthy.
Its this unspoken rule that it's ok to give a man every ounce of you without marriage or a commitment. We will get a home and allow a man to live with us we will take care of him have his children and this all can happen within a year of meeting this man.

We start at an early age myself included i was 18 when i moved in with my ex. My parents did not protest or seem to care and during that whole year i went thru hurt and pain with him i could not imagine and i was alone. I did not have a mother to call because in my eyes your supposed to go thru this and all relationships are hard; and after all what advice could she give me since i witness her going thru the same thing time after time clearly she did not know any better either. I isolate this to black women simply because i am a black woman and i do not have a clue on what it's like to be any other race. I'm not downing us because im living proof, that black woman are strong and we over come everything. I just wanna talk about this chain we have this cycle that we need to break.

At 18 i thought i was grown as hell looking back i was a baby. Laying up with a man really? I mean what the hell can this man do for you besides drain you. In the black community we talk about being ride or dies holding our man down. That's all good but are we not being enablers? Cause he knows if he goes to jail he got you to bail him out. or if he cant keep a job he got you to keep working. im saying what is it like to have a man from point a to b? now don't get me wrong imma hold my man down thru thick or thin. im asking if thats all you find your self doing do not you think you may have a situation where you are living a cycle?i digress the purpose of this blog was to speak on this black shadow in our race it's to many young folks in relationships they cannot handle. to many young women already drained because they gave all their love away before they were 25. now that may be a little dramatic but im pretty sure you get what im saying. i just feel like we are the only race that has to fight for love.
 

Kunta Kinte Hair!

This is officially my first full week of being natural no relaxed ends no weave just me and my naps....I had 2nd thoughts on doing the "BC"(cutting my relaxed ends off Big Chop). This was my 25th bday and i wanted to get a sew in and do it diva style. Its sad but after all that hype i actually considered delaying my BC because i didn't want to rock naps on my bday. Now i had to do self check real fast that was just plan ole ridiculous of me thinking that way. So yea 05/16/11 I stood in my bathroom and cut all the relaxer out my head GO ME!!!!!

Lets talk about the response I got from people honey people can be just plan ole ass holes. Ok so the first statement i got was at least I'm light skin. He didn't even say light skin the fool said light skinned lmao. One person told me i need to put on a hat until i can find a hot comb. People felt the need to just walk up and put their hands in my hair. I been called Kunta Kinte lmao but i guess i have my role in all that imma be honest i was not the most confident the first day i wore my natural hair out. I made comments myself so i know that gave people the thought that it was ok to say what they wanted.

Now i went to a very good salon and got my hair trimmed, wash and set and it was so pretty. I got comments like that looks good on you or not everybody can rock that. Now my question is why cant every one rock it i mean it is what god attended for you to look like right? Now look I'm not against relaxer but damn really is rocking a fro really that big of a deal? Someone said today when you go natural you gotta change your whole style? I don't have a clue what style that would be imma still rock what i wear now.

All and all I'm enjoying my natural beauty i rocked some straight back corn rolls today. For the intent on wearing a braid out this will be my first attempt I'm loving the journey. As for the comments i find them more as material to blog about then anything else it doesn't hurt me or make me want to hide under weave. No one or nothing can make me feel a shame about my Kunta Kinte hair i love it.

it aint cheating if your not married 0_o

ok, so i know alot of yall shaking yah heads and fingers reading the title of this blog....i got the idea for this blog from a radio show i was listening to, on my way to work a few days back. they was basically talking about how women dont care about the wedding ring they still will try to "mac" <----who still says that word lmao. the question was thrown out does being bf/gf really matter does it take you off the market. the response was surprising everybody agreed your up for grabs until your married. now at first i was like hell to the NO (in my Whitney Houston voice)....but after a very emotional convo with my current situation i realized he aint my husband and if he cheats what can i do but be mad and move on.

At the end of the day its all premarital sex how can you expect to live happily ever after when god aint in it? im not saying it wont work out im not saying yall wont end up being old and gray and in love. im saying the chances of that happening is slim to none. i mean look at your mother is she still with your dad im guessing hell no. why waste your life waiting for a man to finish living to become his wife why not now? right cause he aint ready. i just think now speaking from my current situation its impossible to think i have the right to ask a man to only be with me but i aint telling him he gotta marry me. its stupid when you think about it why not just not have sex you know why cause he wouldnt stick around. and to be honest is that really a person you wanna be with.

im not lecturing at all honey i gotta sweep my porch before sweeping yours just sharing my insight on this thing called love. im learning and imma be honest i dont want my man sleeping with no body else. our main problem now is facebook thats a whole other blog lmao....but yea i dont wanna just be his main i wanna be his only his wife one day ;-)....but right now if he cheats all i can do is be mad talk shit and cry so yea do i agree with the notion he aint yours until your married. i mean if im working towards living thru god then yea i agree 100%.....

Gotta get up in under three hours....i just got off at midnight please be with me jesus !

my credit is jacked but im working on it.

Ok so I'm up paying bills.....y'all I'm so use to paying a little something on a bill....but I'm at this point where I'm like I'm getting to old for this bad credit shit....and not being responsible with my money...like all of us i got out on my own at a young age...had hella credit cards and was not saving just stupid....now I'm 25(in 14 days) and I'm tryna own a house cant cause my credit is jacked....its said but i realize now and I'm making steps in the right direction....i now save the next thing i need to concur is my shopping addiction....
so I'm on this mission to cut down on shopping this will be hard...... but i will try my best to balance out my spending and bill paying...plan on owning my home by 30 i know i can do it that's five years from now....ok so if you reading this hit me up with tips or advice i will keep you guys updated on my progress in upcoming blogs....y'all know my bday coming up its hard not splurging :-(

a decon asked me can he drip wax down my booty!!!!! church folk i tell yah

Ok so i made a YouTube vid talking about a situation i had with this so called Christian man. Let me give y'all a Lil back ground on this NIGGA ok so me and my bff joined a church.....I had already been a member for like a year but never went to the new members orientation. So me and my bff Mel and Shana went and met some other new members it was so fun i love my church United Believers Community Church....This is where we met this foo he was coo he and my bff became friends they were coo i thought...

Ok so we friends on FB and he would always get on me about missing church....so a gave him the nick name deacon john. He seemed to me a real Christian guy i did not see anything wrong with him. One day y'all this foo inbox me on FB telling me he had something really important to tell me. Im like ok what up....He says you gotta promise not to tell Mel....Honey anytime someone tells me not to tell my bff something before they can tells me anything i know it's going to be juicy. So im like im not go tell her nothing i promise (y'all i was clearly fibbing) and he fell for it. Now what he told me (i just busted out laughing thinking about this shit) y'all i was not ready for this...

He says yo booty was looking real good in those sweats.....whaaaaaaat????????? and he says you know im a booty man. Muthafucka how would i know yo creepy ass was anything but inlove with Jesus? He says i wanna drip hot wax on yo booty watch it jiggle and slap it and watch you booty turn red from the sting....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! y'all my ass was i  tears deacon john is a freak, i called my bff so fast an laughed....now yall know my messy ass put that whole inbox thread on my FB status and he blocked me shortly after.

See that why people do not trust the church too many fakes up in there. Lmao this is a true story i do not make this stuff up y'all....What would you do in this situation?

Girl I hate to tell you this but yo boyfriend is a Queer!!!!

What would you do if a guy you fell in love with told you he was gay? I read so many books watch so many movies and Oprah episodes. This "down low" stuff is real, honey I have seen some shit unfold right in front of my eyes. If you met a guy who was fine as hell well dressed and basically had it going on. The first thing you would do was check for that wedding ring right? Now days you gotta look a little deeper its true these men be straight dick in the booty fags. To protect people imma switch the names but this situation is TRUE!!!

Trisha got hired on at a local check cashing spot the pay was not all that, she was unemployed and needed anything at this point so she took the job. Now of course she get there and not long after starting the job she starts sleeping with her coworker Carl. Not long after they become a item and Carl tells her his roommate left him with all the bills and basically talked her into breaking her lease and moving in with him. He takes her around his family and from the stories she tells me she really like this dude. So y'all know i was eager to met this guy. Finally like six months after hearing how great of a guy he is she brings him over and I meet him. Y'all when I tell you this dude was flaming lmao i knew this dude was the definition of homosexual the moment i laid eyes on him. Y'all he had on lime green everything bangles, scarf and chucks with the colored contacts and the Mohawk to match. Child please now if you know me at all then you would know i told Trisha girl Carl is gay. She had this stupid look on her face like i was out of line. Now since we friends I did not think i was in the wrong but whatever i dropped it.....

Two months later it's her birthday we all gathered at her house and we had been kicking it. She got a lil stank attitude cause Carl has not showed up yet im like he probably getting his nails polished and booty waxed lmao. So like 1am he shows up looking zesty as ever but he was a cool cat. He was two stepping is ass off and showing us the latest dance moves. We was all talking and I found myself calling him girl lol or bitch. Y'all know how you talk to your girlfriends like bitches please or girl shut up lmao. I knew he was gay y'all but i left it at that.

A few months later it all comes out Carl tells Trisha he gay and tells her his roommate that supposedly moved out was his boyfriend and they made up and he is moving back in. Wait y'all then he tells her she got 48hrs to move out and anything left behind is his or the trash. Im like wow how did it all come out i mean what happen why he so made? So apparently they had been arguing about money and sex, he was making her pay all his bills and stopped having sex with her. His excuse was he was not comfortable sleeping with her without being married. *RED FLAG* he just was not attracted to yo ass that why he had yo ass in the guest room, he did not want, that fish girl lmao.....

So this dude used her to get caught up on all his bills then made up with his boyfriend and kicked her ass out. Ok come to find out the only reason she moved in with him was because she got evicted and did not have no place to go. So i guess they used one another now do y'all think she had a feeling he was gay? I wish y'all could see dude he was Little Richards prototype flaming. Come to think of it i honestly think she had no clue cause her current is feminine too i think she like those metros sexual type men.