Just Checking In!!!!

     Hey everyone I know its been a long while; A lot has changed in my life.  You guys may have been worried about me since my last few post were so sad and depressing.  I was living in Tampa a very beautiful city.  However I missed my now fiancé like crazy, so I moved home. Yea I may have slipped that past yall lol yes honey I am engaged and our wedding date is dated for July 26, 2014.  I have been sharing my excitement with my Facebook and Instagram followers but honestly I'm over it. I have been thinking about creating a new blog all about wedding planning. However I am just going to keep everything here.  I have purchased my wedding dressed and booked my venue but all the deets on that will be in a later blog.  So where Have I been you guys may be wondering right? Well a lot of you follow me on Facebook and Instagram etc. already know all the tea. Those that don't keep up with me like that I moved back home to Kansas City.

     I moved back with a job thank God that is a huge blessing like you don't know.  Me and my fiancé will be moving into our first home together in a week OMG how exciting finally lol.  I also will be making more post around  DIY projects and Décor ideas.  I also want to post more things on being a step mother to teenagers.  My babies are 15 and 12 but yall will learn more about them in future post.  I have so many things I want to share but not the time right now I just wanted to let my faithful followers know I'm ok and I am here breathing! Stay tuned I promise this blog is going to get even better thanks for the love in support.

Life Lesson 101: Counting My Blessings and Not My Problems!

   

      Hey loves, So I woke up around 4 am this morning got up ate some breakfast....clipped some coupons, bought some new makeup and filmed a hair tutorial for my YouTube channel {yahgirltiffy}.... I also cleaned my kitchen and about to fold my laundry. Its pretty safe to say I am tryna get my life in order.....I have been in some type of funk for over a week now.....I don't know what happened one day I was fine the next I was so depressed I stayed in bed for five days straight.....I made a appointment to see a therapist I hyped myself up and everything and at the very last minute I cancelled....Due to my own fears of the unknown....What if she would had told me I have some time of psychological disorder....aint nobody got time for that!....plus I looked the lady up and apparently she does electrolysis or somet ish um NO thank you! I am not going to run from my issues trust me I know I need some help, because its not normal to one day be fine and the next can barely get out of bed to eat.....I just don't want to face them alone and I don't have to that's what friends and family are for. The good thing is my job pays for 3 session as long as the therapist is in our network and any session after that is $25 with a co-pay (what a blessing)...I am sharing this hard time in my life with the www because I know there is someone I can help one day.....

     Although I have not been diagnose by a licensed professional as depressed...I know for sure this has to be what I am going through....It's ok at least I am trying to get through it....I am about to have one of the toughest months in my life :-( ironically its my bday month....Some things in my life are about to get shaken up a bit and I am ready....I have decided not to stress over things I can not control....All I can do is try my best to make the blow a little softer so I can get back up and dust myself off.....Because in the mist of all the troubles I am facing right now....I also have some great news and opportunities that are coming left and right. I have been so down and stressed I haven't taken the time to realize how blessed I am....So to all my supporters please understand I know I am one blessed young lady....I am working on counting my blessings and not my problems....I am a work in progress.

     I have some VERY exciting news to share and once everything is finalized I most surely will share all the details....stay tuned I love you guys and to those of you that send me emails,tweet, etc.... I really am thankful to have such beautiful supporters....Thank you sooooo much you guys just don't know how much your words or encouragement really pushes me to shake this funk I am in...Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

yahgirltiffy ^_^

I never knew how important family was until I moved 1,200 miles away!

   

Hey loves so I am back look at me getting back into making blogs again......lol so I know my last two post have been very sad and have caught you guys off guard....Since I am always so happy.....Well I understand and I don't really have a way of putting things other then yes I have been going through a very emotional pit right now.....Some days you feel like you wanna give up and thats ok as long as you never give up.....Because the moment you do all your "haters" win and we can't let that happen can we? I am very ok and fully aware of what my spirit can and can not handle......I just share my emotions openly on these social media networks.....I so appreciated the love and support of all my loved ones and supporters because what if I needed serious help....you guys reaching out would have been enough for me to rethink any thoughts that I couldn't take back.....I know a lot of you guys felt I was suicidal I promise that was not the case at all.....But the fact that you guys felt enough passion in your heart for a complete stranger to email me and let me know I am in your prayers I am very thankful and I soooooo will not take it in vain.......


     Yes my post was a cry out for help because I was at a point where I just felt trapped in my own negative thoughts......I never felt like I wanted to end my life but I did feel hopeless like I wanted to just give up and not attempt to over come my obstacles ....I have always been strong and no matter what I have going on I always call on Jesus, with his love and protection God has always gotten me through......I don't really ever share my deep thoughts I keep them bottled up but as I grow older i feel its ok to let people know that I have a hard time sometimes.....and I would love to have my mom call me and ask if I am ok...Rather than her just assuming I am ok because like I said I always am........I would love for my sisters to call me and reach out and ask if I need anything....Bascially I am a loner I 100% keep to myself and if I didn't have a fiance people wouldn't hear from me from months on end......I know that not fair to my loved ones and i know in order for my family to want to reach out to me....I have to open that door.......

So going forward I will make the biggest effort in my life to reach out to my loved ones.....I have been here for a year next month on the 25th and I can count on one hand of how many times I have spoke to each family member since I been here......The selfish part of me would love to place the blame all on them and play the victim.....However i am an adult and know when you point one finger 3 are always pointing back at you.....How many times have I reached out and let them know hey I miss y'all? I can honestly count on one hand lol......The thing is with every waking day I am grateful to have the opportunity to make my next breath better than the last......I have the most loving family any one can ask....I have built this huge wall between myself and others....One day when I have time and the urge I will let you guys in on why this wall is built.....

I am writing my thoughts as I think them so I am not sure if you understand what I am saying.....My pain and hurt and spiritual pain that I have been feeling comes from not feeling like I have anyone.....So I want to share this with you guys one to let you know I am ok.....I also hope this helps someone and allows you to be encouraged .....In order for you to heal those broken bridges you have to take ownership of your part in it as well.....I prayed to God to heal these bridges between me and my family I want to have a stronger bond.....I don't want to go a day without speaking to my parents.....I never knew how important family was until I moved 1,200 miles away.....Now I understand I do need people I can't be miss "I don't need nobody" and these are the people God has put me with so they are of most importance.....I will leave this post with this final thought.......I love and miss my family!!!

yahgirltiffy ^_^

                                 

Blah!

     I sit here in this bed for 5 damn days now........I have only left my house to go get something to eat.....I am very certain that I am going through a depression.....I know of no other way to talk about this then to blog my thoughts fully unedited and just type as I sit and listen to gospel music......I don't know what is going on with me well I do know.....because my brain knows this is not my private journal I am writing in and that millions can see my inner feelings with just a click...its not allowing me to come full circle here and now with my thoughts.....I am feeling like a true caged bird I speak of this often but the feeling is getting worse and worse.....I am not happy where my life is right now as I see it as I am living it....I don't have any fancy way of putting this or any play on words I can use other than....I need God more than I have ever needed him in my life......I am at my breaking point emotionally ...I am constantly being strong smiling and uplifting but lord Jesus I am on the verge of giving up......Where do you turn emotionally when you don't have the words to let people know you need help????? How do I get my self out of the feeling im stuck in......The world is moving and I am here in my bed on my 5th day of not caring anymore......

Whats Been going on with yahgirltiffy!

     Hey loves....It's been a month of Sundays since I posted something new......A lot of things has happen since we last chatted and if you follow me on any other social media networks then you know all the tea.....This last year has been full of a lot of emotion and a lot of tears have been shed.....I have managed to keep my head held high no matter how troubled I feel.....Although I am not where I want to be in my life right now financially....I can say I have been blessed with love and hope and that has gotten me through a lot of my break downs.....I had planned to open up my online boutique May 20, 2013 where I will be selling trendy clothing, jewelry,hair etc....Things have not gone as I hoped them to but I have been blessed with a wonderful fiance (yes honey I am engaged) who will be starting his own business at the end of May early part of June....So even though new business ventures are not exactly what I put on my vision board.....Its is still a step in the right direction of not having to work for anyone again....

     I also renewed my one year lease with my apartment complex......so that means I will be living in Florida for another year....OMG!!! that is a hard pill for me to swallow because I had zero freaking intention of living here another year....and I feel much like I don't know if I can go another year living this far from my family....That is the hardest thing I have had the worst time allowing my mind to accept Florida as home.....not that the state has been bad to me its been good so far.....But my heart is somewhere else and when your heart isn't in anything your doing then it makes you feel like your just going with the motions.....That's exactly what I did this past year because I just knew, I would be moving back home.....I get so annoyed just talking about staying here another year uggggggh!  Financially it just makes sense to stay here until things start to line up for me and the hubby.....I am going to try and stay super strong so That I can get through this time as fast as time will allow

Transgender The New Sexual Fixation For Rappers?

“I told him that I'm transgender, I'm a transgender woman and I let him make the decision if he still wanted to deal with me….he said, ‘Damn you fine! I don't believe it.'” Basically, that was a yes.”

      Lets get right to it, the picture above is of a transgender person by the name of Sidney Starr.  Those of you that may not know what I mean when I say she is a transgender.  Basically she was born 100% a male but had surgeries to transform herself into a woman.  This includes having her penis transformed into a vagina and legally having her gender recognized as a female.  Sidney Starr  became infamously known as the transgender woman that was in a relationship with popular rapper Chingy.  She admitted she had a intimate relationship with the artist who she claimed knew she was transgender.  A lot of people say this may have killed Chingy career.  Now she is backing out of this story claiming it was a lie and she never had sexual encounters with any rappers.  She has been linked to many other rappers and she isn't the only transgender I have heard about messing with known rappers.

     I just finish watching her interview with power 105.1 and I will admit I only watched it to see if she would name drop.  However she didn't in the interview she apologized for lying on Chingy and stated over and over again any rumors about any other rapper isn't true.  She is coming out with a book that she says will not be a tell all book.  I know I am not the only one that was a little disappointed about her not doing a tell all lol.  I honestly think she did sleep with Chingy and that she has slept with many other in the industry.  You know Chingy has been linked to other transgender females before y'all remember that rapper named Foxxjazell?   

     If you watch the interview she comes off like she will do anything to keep her name relevant and a bold face lair.  Not to long ago she did a interview where she said “I have slept with other rappers, if it was about fame then I would put it out there, but that's not what it's about,” Sidney said. “The only reason I said anything about Chingy is because someone had investigated us and put it out there so I had to address it.”..... I think she has slept with a number of other rappers and I am sure someone got to her ass and told threaten her with Im sure death or paid her ass off with money.  Like she said she will do anything to become famous and make money even if it meant releasing a sex tape.  So if you don't sleep with rappers what sex tape could you drop?  

      I honestly think it is very normal in the rap community to sleep with groupies  even if they are transgender.  If it looks like a woman talks like a woman has a pussy they can fuck and suck I'm sure they have all done it.  Do I think it's a fetish or some type of life style for rappers to knowingly sleep with men?  No I don't I just think they are whores and will stick their penis in anything like all men do.  I think because of the life style rappers live and these transgender women live they have no choice but to cross paths.  In the interview she was very open about sex, even going as far to say she would have gave the cab driver who dropped her off at the studio, a blow job as a way to pay for the fare.  Angela Yee jokingly says that Charlamagne  who wasn't there :-( thought she was fine.  She was like I love me some chocolate and I would invite him back to my hotel lol.  This lets me know she doesn't have a fear of coming off like a hoe or needing to be lady like because she is a man.  So you know she is down for whatever just what a whoring ass man wants to hear lol.

     Personally I don't think I could respect her because I think she is sneaky and very much so money and fame hungry.  But I can't be mad at her I mean get it how you live it.  She is very beautiful and to me looks nothing like a man at all.  So I can see how someone would be fooled into thinking she is a woman.  I think the only reason she has not dropped and names or done a tell all because she is waiting.... I can go on and on on this subject but I would love for you guys to go watch the video and share your thoughts with me!!!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE INTERVIEW!!!

SisterHood Ratchetness????

left to right: Dominique,Delana,Ivy,Tara and Christaina

     SisterHood is a reality show that airs on the network channel TLC.....  This show follows the life of five women, to offer a up close and personal glimpse, into the life of the leading lady of a church, known as the "First Lady". I have watched every episode since it aired and I must admit I do like this show a lot.  However this show is not being welcomed by the church folk lol.  I can only guess its because it shows the reality of what goes on in churches across the US.  It shows that Christians even the holier than thou type of Christians are HUMAN!!!  I don't know why people are acting all bent out of shape.  I mean what did you think a reality show surrounding women in this day in age would be about???  Its on its 5th episode and I don't know how many more are left however I am going to sum up the show so far than going forward do weekly reviews of the show.

      This show wants so badly to be like the very popular House Wives Of Atlanta.....The show is based out of Atlanta and these ladies seem to be apart of a very wealthy community in Atlanta. Dominique is like the NeNe of the show she is the most fashionable and outspoken of all the ladies.  She will be liked by a lot of women because she is very open and speaks her mind.  She come off like a home girl nothing about her says preachers wife at all... people will like her for her down to earth attitude.
     
     Tara is the one most may not like because she comes off very holier than thou an a know it all.....her and her husband are gossiped about because they got fired by their old church....After just three weeks.  They do come of a little weird at times but I actually like them/   Ivy is really boring the only thing about her that keeps her a little interesting is that her husband seems like he has a mistress somewhere....He comes off like a crazed sex addict I swear anytime he is on camera he is talking about sex somewhere in the episode.  She gossips way to much.  However I love that she is very well spoken and always handles herself as a lady.  But for real that husband of hers is a perv.  
     
     DeLana is hardly ever on any episodes and she can be easily cut from the cast.  I honestly think she is on the show because she is white she is like the Kim of the show. However I did recognize her from a Christian music video I was watching the other day.  Last we have Christina I would not be surprised if she came up with this idea to be on a reality show she seems messy and two faced I don't too much care for her our her husband something about them seems too messy.

     To sum the show up so far....I can see why a lot of Christians would be just a little up set.  I have watched 5 episodes so far and I don't think I have watched one yet that really would help someone.  All of the episodes show the ladies gossiping to and behind each others backs about nonsense.  To be honest the only one that really seems to be having real stuff going on is Dominique.  She is a ex drug addict and prostitute who seems to be going through some type of mid life crisis.  I like it because it has just enough of tea being spilled to keep me entertained when I have nothing else to do on my off days.  They are not harming each other and to me they are not making black women or black churches look bad.  Stay tuned for more reviews on this show.....

yahgirltiffy

Happy New Year!!!! 2013: A lot can happen in 1 year

   

      I know I am late here we are 8 days into the New Year and I am just now saying Happy New Years to ya'll.  So let me officially say HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVE YA'LL!!!!! Well I hope you guys bought in the new year turnt up like I did.  I was surrounded by my loving friends and I had the best time I had in a good long while.  We took a road trip to Orlando FL where they had a huge block party.  If you follow me on Instagram ya'll have saw the pictures so I know you seen us turn up!!!  Well enough about all that lets talk about what I hope my 2013 brings me honey!

     Well ya'll know I moved to Florida so for the last six months of 2012 I spent it away from my loved ones.     It has been a little hard and a real learning experience.  At this moment I have every intention of moving back home to KC.  To be all the way honest I am ready to move my life forward with being engaged.  I will be 27 in 4 months I know that's young.  However I have lived a great life so far, and I will continue to however I'm ready to start memories with who will hopefully be my husband.  I also want to join the Military, I'm currently in talks with a recruiter so y'all wish me luck.  Oh and yes I will be launching my online boutique this year selling jewelry and thirfted pieces stay tuned for that honey yasss!!!!

     My 2012 started off very rocky with money,health,relationships and family problems. My job announced at the beginning of the year that they will be laying my entire call center off.  I didn't know what to think or do felt lost and like everything was getting bad for me.  However I am a true believer and the Father,The Son and the Holy Spirit.  With all my heart I believe there is nothing on this earth that can happen to me that God can't get me out of.  So with that being said I was able to move across the country employed,healthy, in love and the most important my family is much more supportive.  I say all that just to let anyone starting off the new year rocky. Trust and understand it is God that has the last say.  Stay strong and prayed of and remember a lot can happen in one year.

Yahgirltiffy