I'll wait (to fall in love)

ooooohhhhh this song yall touching my heart!!!! I been sleep way to long I dont have Anthony Hamiltons new album "Back to Love" but oh best belive today that all changes...click here to listen to his album Oh and trust a album review will be coming soon! In the mean time enjoy my song of the week!

Anthony Hamilton, "I'll Wait (to fall in love)"

"I wait for you to fall in love
I wait I wait
I hold myself for you
I try to set around before
I try I try
But ain't no other loving... about you"

Young Black Single Mother.....

I'm speaking from the heart on this one....


I am 25 with no kids, and in my community I'm giving a pat on my back an praised as if  I've accomplished something out of this world.....lets get real its not to often you see a young black woman in her 20's with no children....this topic alone sparks many debates.....but I feel the need to say my peace concerning this topic....of being a "Young Black Single Mother"....

I don't turn my nose up at women who have kids.....its easy to assume the negative but I rather not....Because I could of easily been in the same situation....At the end of the day no matter how much I empathize, the  fact is I don't have kids and I could never fully understand the struggle...However I know going into your 20's and having a small human attached to your hip isn't the way life supposed to be.....at 20 your supposed to be free living, following your dreams learning and growing....at that age you are not mentally mature to take care of another person point blank....Now I know alot of y'all are probably like hold up I take damn good care of my kids....sucking yawl's teeth and rolling your eyes.....but lets bring it full circle here is my story....

I got pregnant at 21 February of 2008....My then long time boyfriend my first, asked me to have his child....I took that as a honor.....Child I was young dumb and full of cum literally....I was like OMG you want me to be your babies mama....So we tried and BAM!!! I was pregnant now what? When I tell you my life instantly flashed before my eyes, as I sat in my bedroom starring at a positive pregnancy test...I couldn't believe it I was shocked.... I realized I had made the dumbest decision ever, but I was going to be woman about it and take care of my responsibility..... I didn't take into consideration of MY REALITY! I was unemployed a full time student, in a very unhealthy relationship about to have a baby with a man that had no respect for me....I was depressed, self esteem was non existent....

I went to my first prenatal appointment by myself on the bus in the freezing cold....I knew at that moment I was just another statistic..The fights got so in tense I found myself begging this man to love me and not leave......I'm like hold up nigga didn't you ask me to have this baby....WTF? The relationship turned physically abusive I was two months pregnant when I lost the baby....We just had a huge fight because he had some chick texting my cell phone.....He choked me out and pushed me on the ground wow!!! That same day I miscarried....I made a decision that day that I would work on me and improve my quality for life...not the quality of life....but my quality for life you feel me....It took me a whole year to get better and leave his ass alone for good but I did it.....

Now what if I had the baby? I can try to say I would have done the same thing and left....But honestly I would probably still be with him.....with a 3 and a half year old probably going thru it.....I now realize I wasn't mentally mature during that time to have allowed myself to go through that....So how was I going to protect my child and invest in its future? If I couldn't protect myself or gave a damn about my own future.....Now to my ladies who have kids and are single....I know your doing a damn good job raising your kids.....But be honest knowing what you know now and looking back wouldn't it have been a lot easier if you didn't have a child? Now I know God doesn't make mistakes but sometimes we rush and things happen a little earlier than God intended in my opinion.....I ask all the young ladies reading this to wait....If your meant to be a mommy it will happen....Let being a teenage mother be one of those statistics you beat!!!....To those that are pregnant or have child(ren).....reflect on your current situation and if there is anything in your life..... that is not good for your child's well being remove it......

NO Dogs, Negros or Mexicans......

I know who I am, by scientific fact I am Human and by my faith that means I am Gods child.....I accept that I am a African American woman and I am proud of it....Although I wish everyone thought like me and evolved and found love without seeing color I know its not ever gonna be that way....but what I will not allow anyone to do is put me in a box with a bunch of people who have that crab in a bucket mentality...because no matter how much I wish race didn't  play a factor in how I'm viewed by the world....I know it does and I wish my fellow African American people educated themselves to know what Jim Crow actually was and how it was successful in creating division amongst black people even in our current times year 2012.....I am not going to rant and get all black power just educate yourself.......

I am a people lover my boyfriend of two and a half years is a white man......I us to be that person who said I would never date out side my race....(cant use my comb cant bring em home) lol.....I'm glad I looked past color and saw the person....all this Light vs Dark skin mess is nothing but modern day Jim Crow only thing is Black folks are the oppressors....Now real quick history lesson then I'm out....

"Jim Crow" was a character created by a man named Thomas "Daddy" Rice he was a white actor in the 1800's he was the first person to black his face out to exaggerate African American skin tone.....the character Jim Crow was big back then and he toured all over.....the act basically poked fun of how blacks were treated in the south and made us seem real uneducated  because he used our vernacular....he also had other characters called Sambos, Coons and Dandies....Jim Crow spread as a racial slur towards blacks in the 19th century.....after the 19th century it turned into laws and customs that were used to oppress blacks....Jim Crow was later abolished by the Supreme Court beginning with cases like Guinn v. United States and Brown vs Board of Education these cases helped to chip away at segregation laws...

Now here we are in the 21st century two decades later debating on social networks sites in front of other races (just giving them a reason to justify racism) Dark vs Light skin, Good vs Kinky hair, Natural vs Relaxed.....smh we gots to do better I still love y'all tho....check out the old Jim Crow laws here "Jim Crow Laws"

why does your vagina smell?

Recently I was on twitter and spotted a tweet from a man giving advice to women to douche.....I laughed and corrected him letting him know douching is harmful and so did a few other ladies.....so it brings me to this blog post feminine hygiene/health.....most women struggle in this area month after month trying to get rid of a odor,itch,discharge etc.....Let me get this out the way I am not a Gynecologist or Doctor....this info and advice I'm sharing in this post is purely advice.....Always remember the best advice will always be from a licensed professional so see your Doctor...

Some simple things have worked for me....now every woman has had a off day or two.....but you should be able to catch those days before the public does....so here are some tips....keeping little to no hair in that area helps to keep bacteria away.....when you have hair its easy for harmful bacteria to get caught in your hair causing problems for your Vajayjay......Staying away from allot of sugars also helps, eating allot a sugar can cause yeast infections and you don't want that so drink lots of water.....wash around your lady part with a mild antibacterial soap....I recommend not douching because your vagina is a self cleaning organ it will take care of its self......always wipe front to back and wear lose fitting undies...pee before and after sex and always wash your treasure box after sex....eating yogurt helps because it has live cultures that are good for the vagina and wear pantie liners.

Is it possible for your vagina not to have a scent? No, your vagina will always have a scent however it should never have a fishy or foul smell these odors are more than likely caused by an infection and should be checked out by a doctor....So what should my vagina smell like?  Each vagina has its own smell. It is a special mix of by-products of the bacteria that live in your vagina (yes, bacteria live in your vagina, and they belong there), your diet, your fashion choices, your hygiene, and finally, how your body functions. Furthermore, the smell may increase or decrease in intensity at different points of your cycle, and it may even change a little throughout....

All that being said, there are several times when it is important to see a doctor about your vaginal smells fishy odors,yeasty odors are a rule, any discharge that’s out of the ordinary is worthy of a trip to the doctor....at the end of the day your body has its own scent including your vagina.....

how can you tell its time to clip your ends (naturals)...



Ok!..... I'm asked by allot of people how do I get my ends clipped or how do I know when my ends need to be clipped.....This is a good question because when your relaxed its easy to know when to clip your ends....because your ends will be dry,brittle and breaking.....well its the same exact way when your natural....your ends will be dry not retaining any moisture and you will start to notice more shedding then normal.......I am not a cosmetologist so what I'm saying its just advice it is in no way science

I'm asked and had plenty discussions on how often your supposed to clip/trim your ends......some women have their trimmings set on a routine and it works for them and they are able to retain length by doing this.....but honestly you can clip your ends when you need to...If you are paying close attention to your hair....your hair will let you know when its lacking anything.....I think clipping your ends every 5 weeks is excessive but that's my opinion if it works for you then keep it up.....If i could give any suggestion I would say every six months....Right now I am in need of a good trim honey my ends are dry and I notice pieces of hair every where......I will be doing a YouTube vid real soon showing my ends before and after the clipping stay tuned....remember your hair will shred and no matter what you do you will have split dry ends.....doing deep conditioning and protective styles will help allot with excessive and chronic breakage.....a protective style is anything that protects the ends by tucking them away.....twist,braids,weave,wigs,bantu knots etc.....protective styles are not always done with weave either...you can clip your own ends or get it done professionally good luck.....remember everyone hair is different and what you do or what works for you may not work for someone else....

CHECK OUT>>>>>my blog post "My Fave YouTubers"<<<<FOR GREAT ADVICE AND TIPS!!!!!

Honey Pre-Poo for Natural,Colored Treated or Relaxed Hair



If you are a subscriber to my YouTube channel Yahgirltiffy then you seen my video on how I prepoo my hair.....Like I promised here is a detailed reason on why honey is great for prepoos. Before I get into all that I know y'all are like WTF is a pre poo? A pre poo is,treatments are applied to dry hair prior to shampooing to increase moisture and strength.....This is perfect for my ladies with colored treated hair... I pre poo with honey because it contains vitamins, minerals, is antibacterial, acts as a humectant (attracts moisture).....so when your hair is feeling dry especially those ends using honey prior to shampooing really helps your hair get the extra moisture it needs....this is not something you have to do....but it works for me so I try to do it at least twice a month.....Their are many prepoo options out there but I love the honey prepoo...My Recipe is simple I use honey,olive oil and V05 moisture milks conditioner but their are so many recipes here are a few...

Hydrating Honey Olive Oil Conditioner
2 tbsp honey
3 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp plain yogurt or buttermilk

Honey PrePoo
2 tbsp honey
2 tbsp plain yogurt
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp coconut oil

Shea Mango Butter Pre-poo

2 Tablespoons of Extra Virgin Olive Oil

2 Tablespoons of Honey

2 Tablespoons of Shea Butter

1 Tablespoon of Mango Butter



Random ish.....

I have went back and forward with myself about this blog post.....its been heavy on my head for a few days now...and normally when I wanna share a thought I just do it.....via FB,Twitter or here on my blog......but this blog is different never felt insecure about sharing my thought or giving my opinion on something until now lol....its really not that serious but....I worry is I will be able to articulate my words to convey my perspective not to push my view on my readers....but to show my view and for the person to walk away feeling informed not necessarily agreeing with me but informed yah know?

Any who lets get to the point...so after a debate with some coworkers of mine about how I feel about our countries view on "Crime" in my opinion I think its safe to say the main focus has always been to rid the streets of drugs and drug dealers.....I mean even in school we had a program called "D.A.R.E".....Drug dealers not the users get the harsh jail sentence by far......so if I'm addicted to an illegal substance its not my fault? Its the drug dealers?.....I will stand by my view if you are a living adult in the year 2012 and you decide to pick up a crack pipe,pop some pills,smoke some weed, etc.....knowing the cause and effect of these drugs it is your own fault....and your punishment should be equally the same as those pushing the shit....I mean talk about rehabilitation....

So you give a man who is selling drugs a min of 10yrs in prison ask him to rehabilitate himself while incarcerated.....then once he gets out tell him he can not sale anymore drugs he needs to get a job and report to his parole officer and if he violates his parole he going back to prison.....Ok that seems fair right??....well ok now he is a convicted felon so now what oh ok.....Let me leave you guys with this story

A young man makes some decisions in life at a young age that has caused him to be a father of four and a felon all before the age of 35.......he is working at Walmart as a cart pusher making under $8.50 a hr.....he has custody of one of his children....he gets his checks garnished for child support.....because when he went to jail he was no longer able to pay child support and had now owes a huge amount of back child support.....he has always been a FATHER to his children they know him...and even tho he is getting child support taking out his check he still provides and spends time with his children.....he refuses to sell drugs again because he doesn't wanna ever leave his kids again.....so he enrolls into school applies for financial aid....finds out you can not be a convicted felon of selling drugs to get any form of government assistance for school.....what should he do? I mean he is rehabilitated right?

I'm sorry the system is not set up correctly the likely hood of a honest man rehabilitating his self after serving prison time......if far greater if he is actually given a fresh start....the bad ones will end up where they need to be.....but don't let the good ones surfer....shout out to my father for keeping his head up I LOVE YOU!!!!!

One Love

so y'all I'm on YouTube like normal looking at vids (cause y'all know I ain't got cable).....So I stumbled on one of ices391 aka ices brown vids click link to see one of her vids lol..... if your familiar with any of her vids then you know why I was so shocked and surprised to find this video.....she free styled this entire song....and I'm really loving the lyrics and her voice on this song.....idk how many times I've played this song but I have downloaded it to my tablet......I really love this song and the message behind it....I'm really happy for her out of all the video I watch of hers this is my Fave by far......So I had to make it my song of the week....you can say what ever you want about her but she is talented when it comes to writing a song and she can carry a note......GOOOOOO HEAD ICES!!!!!!!

Although she hasn't titled this song I'm calling it One Love.....because the beat is Nas One Mic she did a real good job y'all I'm really impressed.....



New Year New Me.....Happy New Year!

So its that time of year again.....new me, new year tweets and fb stats popping up.....with those same stats you get the your not changing or your supposed to change all year long stats.....I sit back and laugh why is it a issue when someone says, hey I got some shit I need to change about myself? Really I'm wondering why all the negativity around people and their New Year resolution.....I get it shouldn't take a New Year to change....However it's another year to make a change?  Isn't life all about chances, change and not given up? For some of us simple things like losing weight and keeping it off is equivalent to someone wanting to stop doing drugs....no matter what your struggling with I salute you for wanting to change....not only change but you took the initiative.....

I stand by anyone who wants to improve their quality of life by over coming things that  prevented them from success for a whole year.....I say the beginning of a new year is perfect time to start a new journey.....Why? because you have 12 months of self reflection to look back on.....for those of us determined to improve our life the prior year is a damn good cheat sheet for the new year.......yes some of us will slip back into our hold habits very fast.....but hey at least they tried right? I guess for me finding a way to hate on someone is a hard pill for me to swallow....instead of being bitter about someone else's new years resolution how about you focus on what your new year will bring......

with that being said Happy New Year 2011 went by so past I lost my grandmother, was in a very bad car wreck had some financial issues.....but my blessing rolled in too....I have grown up allot and I'm loving the new Tiffy looking forward to the new me of 2012 xoxo.....stay tuned