Blah!

     I sit here in this bed for 5 damn days now........I have only left my house to go get something to eat.....I am very certain that I am going through a depression.....I know of no other way to talk about this then to blog my thoughts fully unedited and just type as I sit and listen to gospel music......I don't know what is going on with me well I do know.....because my brain knows this is not my private journal I am writing in and that millions can see my inner feelings with just a click...its not allowing me to come full circle here and now with my thoughts.....I am feeling like a true caged bird I speak of this often but the feeling is getting worse and worse.....I am not happy where my life is right now as I see it as I am living it....I don't have any fancy way of putting this or any play on words I can use other than....I need God more than I have ever needed him in my life......I am at my breaking point emotionally ...I am constantly being strong smiling and uplifting but lord Jesus I am on the verge of giving up......Where do you turn emotionally when you don't have the words to let people know you need help????? How do I get my self out of the feeling im stuck in......The world is moving and I am here in my bed on my 5th day of not caring anymore......

Whats Been going on with yahgirltiffy!

     Hey loves....It's been a month of Sundays since I posted something new......A lot of things has happen since we last chatted and if you follow me on any other social media networks then you know all the tea.....This last year has been full of a lot of emotion and a lot of tears have been shed.....I have managed to keep my head held high no matter how troubled I feel.....Although I am not where I want to be in my life right now financially....I can say I have been blessed with love and hope and that has gotten me through a lot of my break downs.....I had planned to open up my online boutique May 20, 2013 where I will be selling trendy clothing, jewelry,hair etc....Things have not gone as I hoped them to but I have been blessed with a wonderful fiance (yes honey I am engaged) who will be starting his own business at the end of May early part of June....So even though new business ventures are not exactly what I put on my vision board.....Its is still a step in the right direction of not having to work for anyone again....

     I also renewed my one year lease with my apartment complex......so that means I will be living in Florida for another year....OMG!!! that is a hard pill for me to swallow because I had zero freaking intention of living here another year....and I feel much like I don't know if I can go another year living this far from my family....That is the hardest thing I have had the worst time allowing my mind to accept Florida as home.....not that the state has been bad to me its been good so far.....But my heart is somewhere else and when your heart isn't in anything your doing then it makes you feel like your just going with the motions.....That's exactly what I did this past year because I just knew, I would be moving back home.....I get so annoyed just talking about staying here another year uggggggh!  Financially it just makes sense to stay here until things start to line up for me and the hubby.....I am going to try and stay super strong so That I can get through this time as fast as time will allow